Getting paired with players who won't shut up!

jim t

I know where your coming from...  Just tell them you want to just play and I don't talk alot....  We are just to  PC in this country, and sometimes you just have to tell them like it is period.. and if they don't like it, that's there problem.....  JT3PUTT

No, you've got it wrong, if they don't like it, they'll continue talking and then it's really "your" problem so the best thing you can do is just lighten up and enjoy being out of the office.

It is a bit of a balancing game.  

We all should have at least a basic knowledge of golf etiquette (such as not walking in someone's line while they are taking a shot, raking the bunker when done, fixing divots and ball marks, zipping the lip while someone is taking a shot, not casting a shadow over the hole or someone's putting line, or walking in someone's line).  

Also the golf course is the place where prim and proper is supposed to go out the window (even women burp and pass gas on the course and smoke cigars while playing).  Being a bit sarcastic and stereotypical, though.

In California, generally people play their own game (and keep their own score).  Maybe a little talk on the tee box or the green. 

Quite frankly, I quit taking the game seriously and, as a result, play much better.   Still maintain proper golf etiquette (got that pounded in by the stuffed shirts at the Country Club in my caddy days).

 

Lou G

It is a bit of a balancing game.  

We all should have at least a basic knowledge of golf etiquette (such as not walking in someone's line while they are taking a shot, raking the bunker when done, fixing divots and ball marks, zipping the lip while someone is taking a shot, not casting a shadow over the hole or someone's putting line, or walking in someone's line).  

Also the golf course is the place where prim and proper is supposed to go out the window (even women burp and pass gas on the course and smoke cigars while playing).  Being a bit sarcastic and stereotypical, though.

In California, generally people play their own game (and keep their own score).  Maybe a little talk on the tee box or the green. 

Quite frankly, I quit taking the game seriously and, as a result, play much better.   Still maintain proper golf etiquette (got that pounded in by the stuffed shirts at the Country Club in my caddy days). 

Lou, I always respect and enjoy your insightful remarks on these forums, but here I will have to respectfully disagree.  I have a huge problem whenever people adopt the stance that (to coin your phrase) "prim and proper" has no place on the course, or that you have to be sociable when playing with other people you don't know.  My take is this: it's my personal choice as to whether I want to talk to people or not, and the others in that group shouldn't be offended.

I've played in many a foursome where the other three talked amongst themselves and I kept to myself and that was fine.  My gripe comes from (as I've mentioned earlier) someone coming up to me on the tee box just before I'm about to hit, or talking to me when I'm lining up a shot to ask for yardage.  I don't care if others talk amongst themselves, I just care that they try and engage me after I've [politely] made it clear that I won't be doing much talking.

The view that I (and others who may also take my view) need to "lighten up" is insulting.  If I can accept that other members of the group want to socialize with one another, why can't my choice not to do that be accepted?

Like I said, I have yet to see anything in The Rules of Golf that my social participation is compulsory, and I've read it cover-to-cover, LOL!

It's just like life, one size definitely does not fit all.  If some players don't wish to take their round that seriously, more power to them. Exercising my right to do this doesn't make me a snob or uptight, it just means we all have different goals.  Period.

Doc:

In regard to the "prim and proper supposed to go out the window"...  I was merely poking fun at observations during my caddie days in 1972.  Realize I was being sarcastic about things mentioned before, calling each other "Howie", talking golfspeak and caddie jargon, smoking cigars and so on.  A lot of this wouldn't fly in this so-called "politically correct" era. Country club golfers are a weird lot anyway.

Generally when I play as a single, my intent is try to play by myself if possible (that way I can do occasional practice shots).  I prefer to play with people I know if in a group. 

In regards to seriousness.... what I mean is that I don't get all ticked off if I hit a bad shot.  I concentrate pretty well (but still remain relaxed), check my setup and so on.  

To expound on the post I just wrote....  I share a lot of your sentiments.

To reiterate earlier posts, people in CA tend to keep to themselves when playing (and I even noticed it on the military courses also). 

IL, on the other hand, is totally opposite.  It is perfectly alright to tell your life story and personal problems to a total stranger. 

To further expound on "taking it seriously" (and I may be repeating myself).....  in my youth I would do things like pound the club into the ground after a bad shot and it often would ruin an entire round.   I sometimes got uptight if playing with total strangers and often had to smoke a cigarette while playing (the effect is that I used to rush my swing).  These days I have learned to relax while playing (if I hit a bad shot I shrug it off but also at the same time analyze what went haywire).  I also quiit smoking 25 years ago.  I also play a lot better golf mainly because I don't try to kill it anymore and practice my short game quite a bit.  I take more time to check my setup before hitting the ball.  Maybe my definition of "taking it serious" is different but I still focus when I play.

 

I guess I have a bad habit of talking to myself when I make a bad shot. This can be distracting to other players. Example is when I hit a fat shot, "I hit it fat." I was politely told the other day I did not have to make that commit because anyone could see I hit the shot fat. Golfers come in all shapes and forms as for as personality and I enjoy playing with golfers who have a sense of humor and who like to talk between shots as we play around the course. I respect the mutes but really enjoy hearing the commits of players while they play. I play with all kinds of personality's and I try to adjust so as not to be offensive.

Wow I can not believe all of the responses to this post.  You just have to know how what the person your playing with is like.  Obviously if your playing with someone who is say like TW, you aren't going to talk as much.  However if your going to play with someone like Lefty your going to talk quite a bit.  You just have to learn what your group is like from the start.  Be courteous to them because each player is different.  I personally take golf pretty serious.  I hate when people are talking when I'm lining up a shot, reading putts, and hitting my shot it just annoys me.  However, I love having conversations between each shot.  Plain and simple is you just have to learn what your group is like and adjust to their styles, and to be courteous to whomever you are playing with!

PDADoc

Lou G

It is a bit of a balancing game.  

We all should have at least a basic knowledge of golf etiquette (such as not walking in someone's line while they are taking a shot, raking the bunker when done, fixing divots and ball marks, zipping the lip while someone is taking a shot, not casting a shadow over the hole or someone's putting line, or walking in someone's line).  

Also the golf course is the place where prim and proper is supposed to go out the window (even women burp and pass gas on the course and smoke cigars while playing).  Being a bit sarcastic and stereotypical, though.

In California, generally people play their own game (and keep their own score).  Maybe a little talk on the tee box or the green. 

Quite frankly, I quit taking the game seriously and, as a result, play much better.   Still maintain proper golf etiquette (got that pounded in by the stuffed shirts at the Country Club in my caddy days). 

Lou, I always respect and enjoy your insightful remarks on these forums, but here I will have to respectfully disagree.  I have a huge problem whenever people adopt the stance that (to coin your phrase) "prim and proper" has no place on the course, or that you have to be sociable when playing with other people you don't know.  My take is this: it's my personal choice as to whether I want to talk to people or not, and the others in that group shouldn't be offended.

I've played in many a foursome where the other three talked amongst themselves and I kept to myself and that was fine.  My gripe comes from (as I've mentioned earlier) someone coming up to me on the tee box just before I'm about to hit, or talking to me when I'm lining up a shot to ask for yardage.  I don't care if others talk amongst themselves, I just care that they try and engage me after I've [politely] made it clear that I won't be doing much talking.

The view that I (and others who may also take my view) need to "lighten up" is insulting.  If I can accept that other members of the group want to socialize with one another, why can't my choice not to do that be accepted?

Like I said, I have yet to see anything in The Rules of Golf that my social participation is compulsory, and I've read it cover-to-cover, LOL!

It's just like life, one size definitely does not fit all.  If some players don't wish to take their round that seriously, more power to them. Exercising my right to do this doesn't make me a snob or uptight, it just means we all have different goals.  Period.

Doc - I was being a bit sarcastic about "prim and proper" supposed to go out the window.   That is a stereotype of IL Country Club golfers (and also a half arsed semi-true portrayal on Caddyshack because the movie was based on caddying experiences at a Winnetka IL country club in 1972; what a coincidence - I caddied at a country club an hour's drive from there).  My observation was that a lot of the golfers at the CC become complete boors on the course (and that even included the women).  We used to abhor caddying for a few of them.

Christian J

Wow I can not believe all of the responses to this post.  You just have to know how what the person your playing with is like.  Obviously if your playing with someone who is say like TW, you aren't going to talk as much.  However if your going to play with someone like Lefty your going to talk quite a bit.  You just have to learn what your group is like from the start.  Be courteous to them because each player is different.  I persona

lly take golf pretty serious.  I hate when people are talking when I'm lining up a shot, reading putts, and hitting my shot it just annoys me.  However, I love having conversations between each shot.  Plain and simple is you just have to learn what your group is like and adjust to their styles, and to be courteous to whomever you are playing with!

You definitely have to size up the group you play with.   If I am with a group that is a bit loose I poke fun of the game - such as exclaiming "good up, BABY!" after a rather exceptional approach followed by "just thought I would lay some of that golfer stuff on you."  I also do other crazy things like applauding after a good drive or fairway shot or maybe even exclaim "dang, I'm good!" after holing out or nearly holing out.   I may tell a couple caddie "sea stories" during the round (and there are some real doozies).  

I've had a lot of things ingrained from my caddie days such as keeping quiet when someone is lining a shot up, reading the putt or hitting.   Extend this to not casting a shadow over the hole when tending the pin, raking bunkers, fixing divots. 

These days I go with friends (when I play with one particular friend it is more of an instructional round on my part).  Generally if I play as a single I try to play very early or very late because there are some times when I want to have a nice quiet game of golf and also hit an occasional practice shot to see what works better. If somebody wants to join I don't refuse them, though (I actually invited someone to join because the person in front of me was such a slow poke playing as a single).   If I take the wife on the golf course I try to find a time when it is pretty wide open.

Lou G

PDADoc

Lou G

It is a bit of a balancing game.  

We all should have at least a basic knowledge of golf etiquette (such as not walking in someone's line while they are taking a shot, raking the bunker when done, fixing divots and ball marks, zipping the lip while someone is taking a shot, not casting a shadow over the hole or someone's putting line, or walking in someone's line).  

Also the golf course is the place where prim and proper is supposed to go out the window (even women burp and pass gas on the course and smoke cigars while playing).  Being a bit sarcastic and stereotypical, though.

In California, generally people play their own game (and keep their own score).  Maybe a little talk on the tee box or the green. 

Quite frankly, I quit taking the game seriously and, as a result, play much better.   Still maintain proper golf etiquette (got that pounded in by the stuffed shirts at the Country Club in my caddy days). 

Lou, I always respect and enjoy your insightful remarks on these forums, but here I will have to respectfully disagree.  I have a huge problem whenever people adopt the stance that (to coin your phrase) "prim and proper" has no place on the course, or that you have to be sociable when playing with other people you don't know.  My take is this: it's my personal choice as to whether I want to talk to people or not, and the others in that group shouldn't be offended.

I've played in many a foursome where the other three talked amongst themselves and I kept to myself and that was fine.  My gripe comes from (as I've mentioned earlier) someone coming up to me on the tee box just before I'm about to hit, or talking to me when I'm lining up a shot to ask for yardage.  I don't care if others talk amongst themselves, I just care that they try and engage me after I've [politely] made it clear that I won't be doing much talking.

The view that I (and others who may also take my view) need to "lighten up" is insulting.  If I can accept that other members of the group want to socialize with one another, why can't my choice not to do that be accepted?

Like I said, I have yet to see anything in The Rules of Golf that my social participation is compulsory, and I've read it cover-to-cover, LOL!

It's just like life, one size definitely does not fit all.  If some players don't wish to take their round that seriously, more power to them. Exercising my right to do this doesn't make me a snob or uptight, it just means we all have different goals.  Period.

Doc - I was being a bit sarcastic about "prim and proper" supposed to go out the window.   That is a stereotype of IL Country Club golfers (and also a half arsed semi-true portrayal on Caddyshack because the movie was based on caddying experiences at a Winnetka IL country club in 1972; what a coincidence - I caddied at a country club an hour's drive from there).  My observation was that a lot of the golfers at the CC become complete boors on the course (and that even included the women).  We used to abhor caddying for a few of them.

Lou, my apologies for misunderstanding your remarks.  I didn't take itt nearly as personally as it must have seemed.  Never having seen Caddyshack, I missed the reference.

I guess from the disparate comments that this is just one of those issues where people [in general] aren't ever going to see eye-to-eye.  That's what's great about the game: there's something for everyone. I'm still always surprised by just how many people are apt to say lighten up, however.

It's all good, though.

Although I state "that I don't take it seriously" (in my definition, not getting ticked off with a bad shot), I focus when I play.   I used to have a habit of rushing my swing when out with others or being nervous.  Nowadays, I block everything out, check my setup and balance, take a couple practice swings and execute.  

 

I'm not going to comment on personal opinions.  Obviously I have one, but there is no place for that here.  Because, if there is one thing that I know to be true..."those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still".  Personally, up until the last month, I have abhorred playing alone - to the extent that I have sat in my hotel room and stared at my golf clubs, wanting to play, but paralyzed at the thought of having to play by myself.  Over the last month, in an attempt to raise my level of play, I have stuck to practicing, playing my lone round (alone) of the 4 week period this last Sunday; which happened to be a career round (at my current home course) by 10 shots.

I will comment on the simple fact that there are stronger forces at play here that haven't been discussed, and the fact is that golf is a business.  It is why we, in many cases, aren't allowed to walk, and why you often aren't able to play as a single.  If you are trying to walk onto a busy course and play as a single, you can forget it.  Your choices, pretty much, are to play during the week, or very, very early/late.  And believe it or not, if you were to play as a single when it is busy, you will disrupt the enjoyment of the groups to your front and rear - even if only perception, the foursome to your front may feel rushed, and the foursome to your rear will wonder why they have to wait on a singe.

It just makes sense for the course to pair players up, and unless you have chosen your playing partners, you will "get what you get".  So, I guess the adage should be, "you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your friends, or playing partners if you are a single."

IMHO

acmcgaha

I'm not going to comment on personal opinions.  Obviously I have one, but there is no place for that here.  Because, if there is one thing that I know to be true..."those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still".  Personally, up until the last month, I have abhorred playing alone - to the extent that I have sat in my hotel room and stared at my golf clubs, wanting to play, but paralyzed at the thought of having to play by myself.  Over the last month, in an attempt to raise my level of play, I have stuck to practicing, playing my lone round (alone) of the 4 week period this last Sunday; which happened to be a career round (at my current home course) by 10 shots.

I will comment on the simple fact that there are stronger forces at play here that haven't been discussed, and the fact is that golf is a business.  It is why we, in many cases, aren't allowed to walk, and why you often aren't able to play as a single.  If you are trying to walk onto a busy course and play as a single, you can forget it.  Your choices, pretty much, are to play during the week, or very, very early/late.  And believe it or not, if you were to play as a single when it is busy, you will disrupt the enjoyment of the groups to your front and rear - even if only perception, the foursome to your front may feel rushed, and the foursome to your rear will wonder why they have to wait on a singe.

It just makes sense for the course to pair players up, and unless you have chosen your playing partners, you will "get what you get".  So, I guess the adage should be, "you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your friends, or playing partners if you are a single."

IMHO

Which is precisely why I play on an early Friday morning (I am off work every other Friday) - my weekends are busy to begin with and it is nice to have a quiet single or twosome with no one behind or ahead of you so you can take your time.  In regards to being forced to walk - I remember protesting it at a golf tournament in 1999; the purpose of the Game is to get exercise.  I don't like to be forced to pay for a cart (but have no choice on the Earlybird Special and riding takes 1 hr 20 min on a 3100 yard 9 hole course when it is wide open).  I used to play after 3:30 on Sunday but my schedule has been so whacked - I could walk 18 holes at Miramar in 3.5 hours and burn about 1700 calories. 

Another benefit of playing very early or very late is you can take someone out to the course (i.e. your wife or girlfriend) and have a teaching round with no pressure to rush. 

 

Dallas S

Robert J

I cannot understand why someone would play alone, I have done it in the past when I had to, very boring.  Golf, unless its your job is a hobby, a social hobby.  As far as someone "talking during my pre shot routine", do you realize how arrogant and ridiculous that sounds?  I follow etiquette, but if someone i have been matched up with likes to talk fine, as long as he/she doesnt talk while I am hitting.

I see daily golfers all the time with a "pre shot routine", its a game, get up and hit the ball, we are not playing the Open.

I personally do not agree with this at all. You don't have to be making money at something to want to do your best. If you want to just "SWING AWAY" go buy a Wii and play in your living room. I play golf to get better and play my best and if someone tells me that they play better when it is quiet then I think it would be perfectly normal to take that into consideration. 

It's like going out to eat alone, and the restaurant asking if they can seat you with another single. If you agree to the request - you can eat sooner... oh yah.. and you'll also need to be a part of society that has respect for other people. Just because you don't think it is important to chew with your mouth closed and wipe your face doesn't mean the other people in your party feel the same. I would hope the person who is being disruptive to the norm would be considerate of the person who is taking the opportunity more seriously. To the person who wants to sit (play) by themselves - to them I say go sit at the bar, and let me mind my manners. 

I meant "forced to ride" on my last post.  There is also one nice thing about not playing in a group - you can take a practice shot every now and then while on the course (for instance to see which club you fare better with); it helps you dial your golf game in.