Just curious - Player preference in your foursome

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By LizzyVal

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  • 27 Replies
  1. LizzyVal

    LizzyVal
    Braintree, MA

    Team Titleist Staff

    Considering it's Mother's Day this weekend, I want to ask Team Titleist members your opinions about men welcoming women in their regular weekend groups.

    I recently joined a fairly new semi-private club.  While I was considering the club, I played a few rounds as a guest with several members (men).  I really liked that there didn't seem to be clear gender lines.  However, the day I joined, I received a welcome email with information about only women's tournaments and was only invited to play in the women's groups on Saturday and Sunday mornings.  My playing ability is average (12 handicap);  I play faster than most players.  I only say "nice shot" if it's really, really good and only after the golf ball actually stops moving.  I do not however, play from the blue tees.

    Which leads me to the question I want to ask the other Team Titleist members.  And I'm looking for honesty here from the guys: Under what conditions would you welcome (ok, allow) female friends to regularly join your Saturday and Sunday groups?  

  2. memphisunited

    memphisunited
    Memphis, TN

    As long as the female players meet the following criteria, they are ok with my group:

    1. Play at a good pace

    2. Are decent human beings

    3. Pay their bets

    I play regularly with seniors that play from the up tees, so that's not an issue.

    Liz - you are welcomed in my group anytime.  :)

    Scott

  3. John M

    John M
    Asheville, North Carolina

    Military

    I play with women all the time, they are my wife and daughters (3)! ha ha  That said, I really don't care who I play with as long as they respect the game and the course. By that, can they play quickly, do they keep their composure when they hit a poor shot, tell a good joke. Actually, if you have a 12 handicap, you are better than average, the average amateur has an 18 handicap. I'm sure that as you get to know more members, you'll play in more mixed foursomes, just let them know that if they need a 4th, you're available. Good luck! 

  4. Tyler H

    Tyler H
    Appleton, WI

    I would welcome anyone that can keep pace, understands the basic rules and fundamentals of golf to join me for a round. The group of guys I play with range from beginner (30ish handicap) to guys that have a plus handicap, so how well you play isn't a factor for me. We have several events at my club that I get the chance to with random people and it is a blast.

  5. Spudstarch

    Spudstarch
    Walnut Creek, CA

    Probably easier to answer the negative form of the question. Things that would make someone unwelcome in my group:

    Slow play

    Loosing your cool hole after hole or whining

    Caring more about booze than golf

    Slow play

    Lying about scores

    Talking politics or religion

    Smoking, cigarettes or cigars

    Slow play

    Constantly being late to tee times

    Slow play

    I think that covers most of it. Other than that, old, young, male or female I don't really care. Regarding your premature "nice shot" comment, I trained my brother to stop doing that by enthusiastically complimenting his (terrible) lag putts immediately after he strikes the ball. Makes it obvious how ridiculous it is to give compliments too soon.

  6. LizzyVal

    LizzyVal
    Braintree, MA

    Team Titleist Staff

    @Spudstarch - are you sure you covered everything? :-)  I'm pretty sure I'd pass your "unwelcome" list though - thanks for sharing.

  7. Tyson F

    Tyson F
    Liberty, IN

    You asked for honesty, so here goes.  It's not going to happen in my Sat Sun group to have a female join into the group.  I do play rounds with my cousin, whose wife also plays and randomly joins with us, but, it is never on a Sat or Sun that this would happen.  I also, play scramble tournaments with females on occasion.  I'm happy that the course I'm at has a good amount of female golfers, however, it won't happen in our group on a weekend.  The group is all guys close in age where we know everyone really well, and all spouses, girlfriends, kids, parents, anyone, lol.  The golf course is where I can go and have guy talk and spend time with buddies and allows us all to spend time away from those mentioned above.  I, and no one in my group is looking to refrain from " talk " to keep people from being upset by the tone, topic, whether casual or jokingly.  I take my wife out with me a handful of times a year, when it's just us.  With that said, we also, are strict when it comes to the games we play,  It's accept the game / wager style, amount, all of it, or don't look to slide into the group.  If I'm asked to join others on the weekend, I play and accept whatever the game is, whether I agree with them or not.  First rule in our group is we all play the same tee's.  I'm sure you can find men who will welcome you to there group,  We wouldn't say no, but, we would expect all preset game rules to be followed, tees, wage, amount.  We know it all, and it's all set in stone. 

  8. LizzyVal

    LizzyVal
    Braintree, MA

    Team Titleist Staff

    Tyson - thanks for your honesty. . .For the most part I agree with you. . .the only part is the same tees.  If I started playing from the blue tees - it just wouldn't be golf.  I would never be able to hit the green in regulation so my game would look like:  On par 4's - Driver, 3-wood, 3-wood, chip and putt.  Par 3's would be driver. Par 5-s would be - you get it. . .The tees are normalizer's and when I play with men my own handicap, our drives end-up about the same distance.  Yet, I'm still at a disadvantage, because my second shots on par-4's are almost always fairways or hybrids while the guys are hitting 7 or 8 irons. .. Thanks for input. . Liz

  9. NCBob

    NCBob
    Hampstead, NC

    If you can play we would welcome you.  We have a female assistant and she likes the guys money on any Saturday.  We also invite a HS girl who is a 4 to play with us in our Tuesday game.  She enjoys having to step up her game and it helps her when she plays against her peers.

  10. JMT-064

    JMT-064
    Richmond, BC

    I personally prefer, to play with women. Playing golf with men can suck. Men think they know everything about hitting a golf ball just because they read Golf Digest or watch the Golf Channel. Women don't have that male preoccupation with distance. Women don't have that male excuse for swinging out of their shoes, just to watch their ball shoot off to the right, into the next fairway. Women all the way.

  11. Dino J

    Dino J
    Burnaby, BC

    Hi LizzyVal, I have 3 regular groups that I play with and of them, 2 groups are mostly women. My other group is mostly men, but we have invited women from my other groups to play with us too. I don't really experience many difficulties with it from other men in my group. The women I play with in my groups generally don't like playing in a Women's league, etc. When we have tournaments, we will sometimes enter coed teams. I hope that helps. D
  12. Chris B

    Chris B
    Monroe, LA

    I have been lucky enough to have some great experiences with women in our golf group.  My old club was very women friendly..,,in fact, a couple of women golfers were highly sought after for Saturday morning money games and four ball tournaments.

    I find that the LGAs are much more tight knit and closer than the MGAs at my new and old club.  The ladies have a great time on the course and a great time together outside of golf.  They are always taking trips, having socials, etc.

  13. LizzyVal

    LizzyVal
    Braintree, MA

    Team Titleist Staff

    BTW - all you guys that responded to my thread - thanks so much. . I had fun reading everyone's POV and appreciate the honesty. I didn't ask to join any mens' groups this weekend, but I did coerce two of my 3 boys to play 9 holes with me . . . They hardly even play because football, baseball, hockey, basketball and track seem to get in the way, and they still out drove me. .. Oh to be young and athletic!  But it was a very happy Mother's Day!

  14. Dino J

    Dino J
    Burnaby, BC

    Sounds like you had a good weekend. Glad you had a good Mother's Day! And if you are ever in our neck of the woods, you would be welcome to join up with our groups for golf. D
  15. Chris Hatem

    Chris Hatem
    Boston

    I have no problems with women playing in a group with me. Most of the negatives listed here in this thread are applicable to both men and women (slow play, too much talking, slow play). And as far as not playing the back tees, that's great! Playing the correct tees for your ability tells what kind of player you are; a smart one.
  16. Tyson F

    Tyson F
    Liberty, IN

    Just to clarify a bit, we don't force anyone to play any tee's they don't want too.  But, our long standing game, which everyone current is a 0-8.3 index, is all done from the tips.  Our game is, carry over skins, cp's, HAWK, rabbit, and birdie hole.  We also, play a big team game, which allows older guys, mostly who are the fathers of several of us, who play from the gold tee's, and we have some who play the men's white tee's.  They have their own game, which doesn't include us, and ours which doesn't include them.  We have a couple of guys who want to join us regularly, one is all for our current game and rules, one isn't.  The one who isn't for it, actually is the better golfer, however would be the shortest off the tee of any of us.  We aren't forcing anyone to join us, however, if people do, they know ahead of time the games and rules we all abide by.  We are all ok if people join and still choose to play a more forward tee, but they won't be included into the games we play.  Which does happen time to time.  When I join other groups, I agree to whatever there standing game involves.  I understand people playing tee's that fit them, and I know the tee's are adjusted accordingly, but, a lot of courses, my home one included, there are quite a few holes with too big an advantage for the senior or women's tees.  I'm talking about 150+ yards forward for the women.  Which puts a handful of them at being really close to driving, cause they measure only 220-240.  We also, have a hole that is a par 5 for women, and par 4 for men, and the men tee of 75 yards farther back.  Also, the par 3, we have 5 of them, white tee's are 8-9 irons, tips are 4-5, hybrid depending on wind.  Everyone playing the same tee's in our game, eliminates any problems with carry over skins or HAWK, which would have people teeing off from different tee's when there is an exact order to tee off in.  It would have someone teeing off from blue, then white, then the rest from blues, it's just a mess.  We used to allow a mix of tee's, it just created more havoc than anyone wanted.  So, someone could join us, and play whatever tee's, just wouldn't be included into the game from the tips. 

  17. Don O

    Don O
    Madison, WI

    As a senior player, I have less reticence than other men.  I get somewhat similar feedback from guys that play the blues since my comfort zone is with the white tees.  We can debate the chicken or the egg, but there just aren't enough women that play as seriously as you.  The better women at our club tend to play only with their spouses.  I don't see them showing up on weekends looking to play with other men or in groups of other women.  Or even playing a practice round by themselves. The Thursday Men's League fills up, and the Wednesday Women's League offers wine specials to encourage membership.  Since you are an outlier in your game, have you asked to play with the guys?  Stereotyping is of course part of the issue but would they let you break the mold?

  18. Todd T

    Todd T
    San Diego, CA

    Military

    I could care less about gender... As long as you keep pace with group in front it's all good.

    guys should be happy to have you in their group.

  19. Z

    Z
    Santee, CA

    Quick answer is that we already do. I think it is more unnatural not to include both genders in our group, if they display an interest in this great game.
  20. Hotsauce

    Hotsauce
    Georgetown MA

    Hi Liz,

    I think this is an awesome topic. As 30 something year old guy and a decent player (6 hcp) I welcome anyone who can keep up and provide good company. But your question is what would it take to get in the weekly game on a regular basis? The answer for my morning game would be at least $30 bucks and thick skin.

    Saying something like "that shot was thinner than your hair" or "you caught all of that one" on a pop up is common. Whoever wins is immeaditely labeled a sandbagged and is expected to buy whomeve lost the most a libation to ease the sting. It sounds painful, but it's fun for everyone. The things we say wouldn't make my mother upset, but we don't coddle each other one bit. It's not for everyone, but we are equal opportunity.  Nothing is off-limits, and everyone gives and receives a little needling. If you have a legit handicap, you're good company, have enough to cover your bets, and you don't mind a little friendly banter you'd be welcome (by me anyway).  I'll pose the question to my group and see what they say... I honestly expect a similar response.

    However my question back is- Would this be enjoyable to yourself and members of the fairer sex in general?

    My club has a plethora of women members of all ages and abilities, some of these gals have won MGA events and played D1 golf, and almost none of them play with the guys. When they play, specifically in ladies only events, the level of competition (not to be confused with skill level), perceived by me anyways, isn't the same.  We have a Tuesday ladies league and I have to tell you the amount of positivity and support is uncanny. They cheer each other on, nobody gambles (at least not that I can tell), and I'm not convinced they even keep score.  It's almost like field day- everyone gets a trophy. There's nothing wrong with a friendly round, but after a while, I'd miss the pressure.  

    Having a nice stroll and casual conversation has its place, but on the morning game, it's a bit more competitive. We'd let you play, but would you enjoy it?

  21. pulplvr

    pulplvr
    Spring, TX

    Military

    Liz--good to see you on the forum once again.  I personally have no issues playing with women in a group, any day of the week.  When I was younger, I often showed up at a course as a walk-on and was often paired with couples and, occasionally, three ladies.  My purpose for being on the course is to have fun, enjoy the companionship, and to be outside in the fresh air.  As long as any player keeps up, plays by the rules, and doesn't get too vociferous over poor/lousy shots, I have no problem playing with them.  I think one reason so many men avoid playing with the ladies is that they cannot "be themselves"--raunchy, loud, boozy, free to relieve themselves anywhere and anytime.  Plus, they don't like being shown up on the course when the ladies play better.  I like playing in mixed groups and would welcome more opportunities to do so.  Come on down and let's play!

  22. Matthew P

    Matthew P
    Henderson, NV

    When they're pretty and buy beer(KIDDING)

    I like to play fast, and as long as they can keep up, I wouldn't mind having women out there.  I don't even like playing with men that play slow, or look over every putt like they're about to win the Masters. So a woman who plays fast, and is enjoyable would be a welcome addition to any foursome I think.

  23. DOGLOSKI

    DOGLOSKI
    PORTER, TX

    HI LIZ, I CANNOT HIT THE BALL VERY FAR AND PLAY FROM THE FRONT TEES ON A REGULAR BASIS WITH MY FRIENDS WHO ALSO HAPPEN TO BE OLD GEEZERS.I ENJOY PLAYING GOLF WITH ANYONE,ANYTIME,ANYWHERE. MANY TIMES WE HAVE A LADY JOIN US. GOLF IS FOR EVERYONE.ENJOY.
  24. Blake B

    Blake B
    Harbor Springs, MI

    I would have to go along with what most have already said in regard to slow play. As long as you can go out there and enjoy the game honestly then you should be OK. That being said, my typical weekend rounds are twosomes, and rarely a foursome. When we do have a foursome then there will traditionally be a bunch of side betting along. This could throw off that equation. 

  25. Richard H

    Richard H
    Grand Prairie, TX

    Anytime. Especially, if they can play better than me. I'll take the blow to my pride any day if it will give me the determination to become a better player, and I want dog the woman/women who are better than me. I'll just enjoy the round like I would with anyone else. In fact, I was playing a round last summer by myself when I had a woman ask to join me - the group ahead was playing slow and wouldn't let me through. I told her that would be fine and we had a great time. Come to find out she was a club pro at a course a few counties over and was in town for a tournament. Just watching the way she managed the course helped my game.

  26. andy r

    andy r
    Cheshire, CT

    Women are welcome anytime at all .... weather it happens a second time depends on pace of play , playing ready golf and not gloating too much if they kick my butt. Nothing wrong with playing from the white tees, in my opinion too many people ,both men and women, play from the wrong tee. That slows play as much as anything.
  27. LizzyVal

    LizzyVal
    Braintree, MA

    Team Titleist Staff

    Thanks Andy for your response. . . It's funny that everyone thinks "pace of play" with women.  Don't you know that many women are not only full-time moms, but full-time employees, and take care of the bulk of cooking, cleaning,etc. - we are multi-taskers and wish there were more hours in the day!  We don't have the time for practice swings, overanalyzing reads or looking for lost balls.  :-)  I'm exaggerating of course. . I actually have never played with anyone faster than I like to play.  Agree on the tees - - 

    Liz

  28. Carl T

    Carl T
    Little Rock, AR

    I have no problems playing with women. To me a man or a women is a golfer and that's the bottom line. The only thing that is still "old school" at my club is that we have a men's grill and we have a mixed grill. Women are not allowed in the men's grill. Of course this is where some gather before and after a round. I play with a large group of 30 men but if women wanted to play with us I don't think there would be a problem. Foursomes are made by the tossing up of balls, everyone plays at 80% of their handicap for stroke holes, and different tees are played for senior players. The format is the best two balls on a hole against the other teams best two balls. Our club is also the practice course for the local university men and women's golf team and I guarantee that any of the women on the college team could beat at least 80% of the guys at our club plus out drive most of them.

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